My yearning for adventures is something that is hard to express. In high school I had always planned on going far away from home for college. Some where I didn't know anyone, some where new to explore, but most importantly some where I could start over and follow my dreams. Unintentionally the expectations of my family came into play in making the decision of where I would go to college. My dad had always said rather cynically "If you want to be a professional photography I guess thats okay, as long as YOU are okay with living at home for the rest of your life." Ironically my dad is the one who got me interested in photography. For my entire life my dad religiously read National Geographic Magazine. If I was in the room with him he would always call me over to see the photographs. The ones that were captured at exactly the right moment to make you feel as if you were standing with the photographer as he took it. They fascinated me. More often than not I would flip though the magazine looking at the pictures and imagining my name at the bottom of one of them. It has been a dream of mine for a long as I can remember to be photographer for national geographic. Choosing Santa Clara for College was my first step away from that dream.

I don't know why I chose Santa Clara. I think it was partly fear of failure and partly fear of disappointing my parents by not getting a traditional college education. One thing is for sure, I caught everyone off guard when I announced that I was going to Santa Clara, which my high school was practically a feeder school for. After getting into one of the best photography school in the nation (Rochester Institute of Technology) , and two very competitive architecture schools (University of Oregon, Drexel University) I went against everything I had previously looked for when choosing a college. Seventeen people from my graduating class came with me to what now seems like a continuation of high school. I didn't go out side my comfortzone, I didn't find an adventure, but most of all I didn't pursue my dreams.

Now I feel as if I am stuck in an imaginary world. I am too comfortable with where I am. I never think about the future. My dreams are gone. I have nothing to look forward to and no challenge to over come. I am living for today, not thinking about the future because I no longer have dreams. They seem so far out of reach that I have given up and come to conform with the supper middle class exceptions of traditional schooling for a traditional job. Maybe this is a better way to live just focusing on the memories and relationships of today, not thinking about what the future holds. But I have always been a dreamer. I have always had something to work for and look forward too. I don't have an adventure ahead of me and being suck in this imaginary world is not how I want to live.